What I never understood…

Years ago, I had moved into my first house it was very rustic inside with real pine in the small living room, and I had a German shepherd who shed allot. My Mom really didn’t like to come in due to her allergies, and my Dad would laugh as it sort of had the theme of old naval ships, and a musket on the wall, so he called it “old military” concerning my decorating.

I guess one would have to know my parents to understand, they are sort of old school high church people, who settled into the conservative Presbyterian Church, after my Mom, and supposedly everyone else accepted Christ as their Savior.

I had always felt “the odd one out” in our family, although no one dared and express it outwardly. Proper Church doctrines were expected of us all, and the family pressure might be felt to some degree if you stepped outside that dogma.

One day I received a gift which puzzled me from my parents, it was one of those dime store type of plaques with a boat on it which read, something about following your own paths – or the way of one man seems different to another, but does not make it wrong, I don’t remember exactly as I discarded it.

Still later as a single man, I became frustrated in meeting the “right women”, and in going to church, it even made me more conscious in being alone; especially if a member mistakenly thought the girl next to you was your wife! This was social church to me, and it seemed most of the sermons I heard were just a derivative of what I had always heard before. I thought that my problem must be that I was spoiled by the personal relationships I had developed while in home fellowship, when I lived in the City.

I also remember later my father cowering as he was “worried about my Salvation”, well that really set me off – and I refused to make a public spectacle of myself praying with my father in the driveway for the entire neighborhood to see! It was downright insulting, but actually the root of this whole problem was Spiritual!

Allow me to explain to the actual brethren who are reading this message, as only they will understand what false brethren can never see!

1 John 4, tells us to discern by “spirit” (not just doctrine) in whom are in Christ, and who are not! This is the only way one can tell, if it was done by legalism of doctrine all you get is a lot of “Puritans” running around. Sadly, this is what most church people are – they have never really been born anew into a new life, they only adapt to themselves the Bible; which really was never written to them to begin with: this is Satan’s finest trick since the creation!!!

That’s right, they are of a “different spirit” than those of us who actually follow and abide in the Lord! How do I know, most will ask at this point, and the simple answer is by experience. Still others will then say – “you are judging” in condemnation. No, that type of judging was done to me by my father, which I mentioned earlier.

I really tried very hard to “fit in” with this systematic theology system, yet the Lord had another plan for me! I had managed to get voted into the leadership by the Elders (Session), yet even when performing very well in my schooling, and surpassing the board of Elders, it was very evident to me, that they did not really want me in an office of higher leadership!

Some who have never met me, have the audacity to say that I am bitter, yet they do not understand what spiritual persecution is (Rev 17).  They can never understand that it was the Lord himself who removed me from “the system” and later he spoke through an actual Elder in the Lord, proclaiming that they did not actually want Christ who’s within me around their church!

After my near death heart attack while in water survival in the service, I was not able to financially give to the church, and I hardly could stand long enough to perform my office as a Deacon. The head Pastor “borrowed” my testimonial about being shoulder to shoulder with Christ within the Church newsletter, yet they would NOT allow me to speak about it to the congregation! They later found out just why I left, and offered to let me light some candles at Christ’mas and give my testimonial. Yet I refused, as a testament to walking with my Lord, and not giving the oxygen of acceptance to a surrogate for Christ!

It was the Lord himself who showed me to follow him, (which I had thought I was attempting to do for years) and oddly enough he used my attempting to finally receive my accreditation by a Bible school  to show me that was not important to him! I now understand that most people who “even” started with Christ, and claim his name as Savior, are in “no way” spiritually interested in actually abiding and listening to him personally, it is as if that is too close for comfort ( having a love for the truth)! They are much more interested in playing Church, to justify themselves before God, yet remain comfortable while in the world!!!

In fact they are enemies of the Cross, (as Paul called these brethren) and of the “Spirit of antiChrist” as when John first coined the phrase.

I sit and write this today, because in my mailbox just went a letter sent to (a new assistant) pastor, who has never met me. The so-called Elders or Session, has put their dirty work on this poor man, of striking our name from the membership rolls of their flock (as they call it) – which is much-better than having one’s name stricken from the book of life within Jesus’s flock! *( I was forced to put people out of the Army, so I know how this feels.) The really sad part to me is, whereas the ones who knew me, know exactly what occurred and why I left, yet they are too cowardly to stand, or either don’t want the stench on them!

They gave me a month to show up, or reply: so “tong and cheek” I suggested a refund of about half of what I gifted them – as they also purposely lost my founders memorial brick, to boot!

I’m just waiting for this to get back to my elderly father in the next county, this will be very hard, the level of idolatry towards church is unbelievable by such people, and although it was marked personal and confidential, I hope to the Lord that it doesn’t reach my Dad, this is not his fight but he loves to be in my business, and I’m afraid it might kill him!

If it does, I guess that I cannot allow Satan the victory of using his false brethren to tarnish the work of Christ within me. You can’t allow this very powerful spirit to enslave you, you must push in as a bond servant to Christ himself, or risk losing the gains you have made by not listening to him!