Category Archives: Pride

Knowing Your Father

One’s effectiveness in understanding the scriptures is not just rooted in sound doctrine, but rather it is rooted in just how much the Lord has chosen to show you about himself!

I had learning disabilities (dyslexia) since childhood, I was tested and tested again in the 1960’s to pinpoint how I could best learn to read and write and function in memorization of academia. My hyper activity didn’t help much in applying myself to my studies neither did being slapped in the head and parental frustrations that only helped to tear down my self esteem, which I did not overcome till in my 30’s in still feeling marginalized and substandard till the Lord saw fit to give me a supportive wife, the love of my life!

However, the Lord is not a respecter of men, but rather looks upon the heart to see who earnestly seeks to know him and love him. It is humility and not pride which enables the Lord to show his son’s and daughters his great love for them, and a greater insight into who He is! 

I was also very fortunate to have a mother who came to know Jesus Christ and offered me encouragement and scriptural direction as a teenager. This served me well in my early years in avoiding the pitfalls of false teachings and even cults. I went into the Coast Guard partially to get away from home in which I often felt the scapegoat in a well-educated but sometimes dysfunctional family setting. My biggest desire was in being a man in my own right, with a personal walk and understanding with the Lord. Yet more then not, I found my faith challenged and often scuttled by those who thought more highly of themselves than they should. I’m speaking about the Religious Community, often well-trained men who were proud of their accomplishments while in College or in business.

The “Church” is not immune to such men, in fact it oftentimes tends to breed self-righteous and pride by many who join its ranks. A social status creeps in educationally, financially, and spiritually as to how “fit” one is to be serving the Lord. I could go down a long , long, list on how the Lord has shown me himself working within my life, but it would take too long to write about all the supernatural things which I have learned in life.

Little things like a newspaper page blowing between my feet, showing me a neighbor who had passed away, to larger things like a plaque on a statue of a Civil War soldier which bore my name: as I had been praying about its meaning. The really supernatural part of this is that after decades of searching for the statue that the Lord used to speak to me, under Roland (Park) Dell”, (which is what I saw engraved on the placard) yet it actually reads Whyman Park Dell in Baltimore Maryland; both near where I studied under a brilliant Pastor having 23 years in seminary , three doctorates, and many spiritual giftings such as healing;“but only” when the Lord moved him to do so, as well as being one of two top exorcists in the city.

I once surpassed the training for Deacons and Elders because of what I learned under the late Dr. Gross, but it seems I wasn’t their “cup of tea” so to speak, or just maybe they felt uncomfortable having Christ-in-me around, as the Holy Spirit really shined on me that day, even apart from a Harvard educated Elder who could find no fault in what I had learned. But again, I experienced rejection from a place I had thought I would gain acceptance. I see many people who argue doctrinal points while quoting the scripture, and theological positions as to why a statement is out of contexts or even wrong. But what I rarely see is someone who can give insight as to why the Lord did what he did, especially when involving Jesus or the Holy Spirit. The lack of understanding is usually because a limited understanding in who God is; shall I say (as a personality), for lack of a better description. This is often found to be the case as the one teaching may be Biblically illiterate, or worse yet, does not have a mature relationship with the Lord!

It is the same type of situation as one speaking about your Father with authority and understanding, but do not know him, or oftentimes have never even met him! I would much rather listen to a person who knows my father, than one who knows all about my father : are you getting my point? But the world is a proud and sinful place, and really has little use for us dime a dozen simple followers of Christ.

That’s why I believe the scripture teaches that if a man loves the world, the love of the father is not in him; no matter how well trained or religious. The other twist to this equation is one who judges their brother in having “not loved the Lord enough”; or should I say, that they deem him in loving the world more!? That is the inherent Religious Pride aspect often found within many a church system, even if they only ever use the term Ekklesia when describing themselves.

Yeah, to understand your Bible is not just about the texts on a page, but the relationship one has with their heavenly Father.

By Brother,

Roland Dell

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Once Saved Always Saved

Published on Oct 1, 2015

Sermon for Sunday, October 4, 2015. This is the fifty-third sermon preached in English on thecloudchurch.org. It was preached by Pastor/Missionary Evangelist Robert Breaker, who presents the BIBLE DOCTRINE of once saved, always saved.


It has been said that the doctrine of once saved always saved is a “Broadroader’s” doctrine; yet in fact, it is a sound Biblical doctrine!

Perhaps it is the ones who practice a type of “Lordship Salvation” apart from the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ’s atonement on the cross, who will hear – Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity!
Nothing we do can ever substitute the completed work which Christ alone has done on the cross. You cannot add to, or take from this action of love, which our heavenly Father has done in sending his only begotten son, for the redemption of the lost who would believe on the Lamb of God. Our righteousness is as a filthy rag (a menstrual cloth) is how the Bible describes it; and is normally a doctrine based in pride and self righteousness, rather than dependence upon our Lord for our deliverance and his ongoing sanctification, for all those who have come to Christ and partaken in his Crucifixion by faith.



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Derek Prince: The Gospel Faith and Works (link)

Published on Mar 28, 2011

This video may completely change your life and relationship with God. It is that good ! Derek Prince shows from the Scriptures what the Bible says the Gospel is. What it means for us. Many people talk about the Gospel without actually knowing what it is. This is a very clear message on the most important teaching in the Bible. It is English audio with Chinese Subtitles






Since this is my web page and ministry, I decided to post this most basic truth of the Gospel.

I painfully became aware after 7 years of fellowship with a legalistic “Lordship Salvation” group on the net; the complete lack of love shown to me, in one of the greatest trials of my life while facing the very real possibility of my my own death, for the second time around! Many of my earlier videos reflect the very sharp teachings of a brother who is so dogmatic in the faith – that he has forgotten about his own fallibility and even has convinced himself and others of “their own righteousness” by a “continual abiding” in Christ! This is a very dangerous and deceptive trap, as even to those who have been truly born again of spirit, should never become so proud in condemning others for not keeping legalism. Or in other words, believe that they have something to do with moving into the Kingdom of God in and of their own efforts!!!

I chose to publish this video on the site as an example to such heretical teachings while using the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and subverting the Gospel into something the Lord never intended it to be! I would hope that people could learn from my mistakes, rather than having to suffer the consequences in listening to “another Gospel” like I made the mistake in doing!

I know that most of my traffic comes from being one of the original followers of “Lucas Labrador”, ( I will be gracious and not use his real name) who I was ingratiated with for a solid seven years, until Donald Trump got elected a President; and I was later accused of being “chastened of God” for my political views by this “dog”, as for an infection on my heart’s hardware I received while in the military. Which has since been removed by the man who invented laser surgery to the heart, and the Lord graciously allowed me to meet, Praise God!

I may not be the best public speaker, but I can tell you that I have never been a “boot licker” ; once I discover an unrepentant personality disorder in which             I believe is used  in twisting the Gospel of the Lord for their own following having become devoid of Grace, “puffed up” in exclusiveness, while comparing himself to other brethren and full of Spiritual Pride in attempting to follow the Lord – unlike any other.

I earnestly beseech you to listen to what is being said by Dr. Prince, as it is the most fundamental aspect of the Gospel and Faith in Jesus Christ alone,which you will ever need to live a victorious life in Christ!




 

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Stay in the Net.

The Lord moves and works when he wills in accordance to his plans. The most important thing we can do is to “Stay in the Net” (network) with him, to keep the channel open in listening for Him who loves us.

Are we receiving…? No one else can tell you how or when to listen, we just simply keep listening, and then moving in obedience when we are called to do so.

Men may make plans for movements, but it is the Lord alone who directs our paths.



 

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Are You Obsessed by Something?

Are You Obsessed by Something?

Who is the man that fears the Lord?  PSALM 25:12

Are you obsessed by something? You will probably say, “No, by nothing,” but all of us are obsessed by something— usually by ourselves, or, if we are Christians, by our own experience of the Christian life. But the psalmist says that we are to be obsessed by God. The abiding awareness of the Christian life is to be God Himself, not just thoughts about Him. The total being of our life inside and out is to be absolutely obsessed by the presence of God. A child’s awareness is so absorbed in his mother that although he is not consciously thinking of her, when a problem arises, the abiding relationship is that with the mother. In that same way, we are to “live and move and have our being” in God (Acts 17:28), looking at everything in relation to Him, because our abiding awareness of Him continually pushes itself to the forefront of our lives.

If we are obsessed by God, nothing else can get into our lives— not concerns, nor tribulation, nor worries. And now we understand why our Lord so emphasized the sin of worrying. How can we dare to be so absolutely unbelieving when God totally surrounds us? To be obsessed by God is to have an effective barricade against all the assaults of the enemy.

“He himself shall dwell in prosperity…” (Psalm 25:13). God will cause us to “dwell in prosperity,” keeping us at ease, even in the midst of tribulation, misunderstanding, and slander, if our “life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). We rob ourselves of the miraculous, revealed truth of this abiding companionship with God. “God is our refuge…” (Psalm 46:1). Nothing can break through His shelter of protection. From My Utmost for His Highest Updated Edition

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Love Never Fails

Published on Jun 1, 2019

It is the Lord who has shown me that the power to overcome “the sufferings of Christ” within us, is to realize the great love and mercy he has shown to us. It is much easier to be critical with our feelings within, than it is to yield to the Lord’s love within, and to obtain the power to forgive others for the many injustices we may have suffered. Romans 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.


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Have Not Love

Published on May 30, 2019

We who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ need to examine our motivations when speaking to others. “How old” we are in the Lord, nor even our zeal, will exempt us from speaking the truth in love. Without the love of the Lord in our hearts; we are but a ringing gong or a clanging cymbal!


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Not by word, but by power

Published on May 10, 2019

1 Corinthians 4: 19-21
19 But I will come to you shortly, if the Lord will, and will know, not the speech of them which are puffed up, but the power. 20 For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power. 21 What will ye? shall I come unto you with a rod, or in love, and in the spirit of meekness?
1 Corinthians 2:4
And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:


 

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The Scapegoat

Published on May 8, 2019

It seems to me very significant spiritually, that Satan has adopted the goat as his symbol. The Bible is normally geared towards the disciple of Jesus Christ, yet it is used by the world and his wife often to justify themselves before an all-knowing God. Matthew 10 : 30-40 speaks volumes about the “sufferings of Christ” found in those whom the Lord has chosen to do a work within. This is a spiritual work, and it is often hidden on a conscious level from those around us. Yet the actual child of God will feel it, and suffer it, unlike anyone else around them! I think that the scapegoat is normally of strong moral courage, and that’s why they are perhaps picked, they are a type of Christ, but the blows to them are no less painful.


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Different God’s

Published on Apr 30, 2019

The “New Age” seeks a different god, than the God of the Bible: and the world will worship him, yet reject the other(s), in now the end of the age… I examine Alan Watts ~ Society Is A Hoax , Take Control Of Your Life – video, and what I know of the Bible, and “so called” 19th century thinking, all now considered antiquated! Now we are in the NEW AGE when science is god, and all-knowing man is supreme… It won’t be long now brethren!


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Walking with Jesus

I have read a lot of good books over the years about walking in the Holy Spirit, to include one of my first books the Sovereignty of God by A.W. Pink. Oswald Chambers and Watchmen Knee have also had a tremendous impact of my life, along with Jonathan Edwards and many others.

John 10: 27-28 commentary:

But ultimately my walk was most effected by the Lord himself in learning to “remain still” (as dead) and simply listen to him! “My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me” John 10:27. The second part reads in verse 28: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

It was very difficult for me to find broadcasts that spoke about hearing the Lord by most preachers, which I found incredibly strange since this was one of the foundational principles of walking with the Lord! It is my concern, that most ministers focus on doctrinal teachings within the scriptures, but then rarely seem to preach on following the Lord himself, which the heart of the scriptures are indeed teaching about!

I can remember my Mom who was a Women’s Bible teacher for decades telling me that “you are right, our church spoke about (their missionaries) actually hearing the Lord” … I thought to myself, well they had better realize they can hear him!  And yet, this subject is hardly ever spoken about in most churches and has been a cause of great heart ache to me over the years!

Then we have the second part of the verse, which seems to me that if you get the first part mentioned above, then you must overcome those who would detract from verse 28; as in – losing your Salvation!

I truly believe that Satan recognizes the significance of these 2 verses and does everything in his power to at the very least, causes our flesh to either overlook them or worse yet – to make us think we have something to do with it!

The most we can do is to put on the armor of God, which we have been provided by our Lord’s atonement for sin. In both cases if we choose to either not listen, or to try and be Holy in ourselves; is both moving in independence, rather than dependence upon the work of the cross! This is why the Lord spoke to me years ago while nearly drowning in the surf; saying “you can do nothing”!

I believe Satan does not want a believer to grasp the significance of these verses, which is; that none of our spiritual walk is within our mortal power to obtainno matter how hard we try in the flesh.

The key to walking with the Lord, is in simply learning how to yield to His Holy Spirit within usChrist in us, the hope of glory.


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Knocked off course

Satan desires to destroy our faith in any way he can, for the more mature brethren he uses doctrinal beliefs and concepts, in an effort to derail and put to ruin our faith. Be aware, this can happen to anyone within the realm of battle, right up to the point we’re absent from the body, and present with the Lord! Remember, Salvation is of God, that no man may boast!


 

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Rejections of Men…

 

 

Published March 23, 2019

 

One thing which I have learned, is to never think you will be excepted by men because of your walk with the Lord. You will not, unless of course you sell yourself out like the whores of Babylon continually do!



 

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No Fault Redemption, by Grace!

Lightship for Christ
Published on Mar 13, 2019

 

Anything: which takes away from Christ’s completed work upon the cross, I see as Satanic!
Lordship Salvation is like asking the Lord where his grace and mercy ends? It does not take into account that we have no power over sin, and never will! It is like “half stepping” the eternal work of the cross on our behalf, making at least part of Christ’s work on cross ineffective, without having the believer’s consent and cooperation. This seems to be a satanic accusation to me, from what I learned from the experience of this human pride, instead of humility in love.
In actuality, the Lord goes before his people the elect, so that they may attain to eternal security, (which is Christ’s work) once having started with the Holy Spirit, (by design) in which we are sealed until the day of redemption (Ephesians 4:30)! I hadn’t realized the harshness of this heresy, until I was coldly discarded by these type brethren for simply not seeing eye to eye with their beliefs about me, in just how cold and calculated this hidden pride actually is, and how it is used by Satan to accuse actual brethren, and destroy some people’s faith.



 

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Many Wax Cold…

Lightship for Christ

Published on Mar 9, 2019

Matthew 24:12 (KJV) 12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

This is a natural reaction to the times we live in, (in our flesh) yet the Holy Spirit who is in all true believers, does not change, and unless we harden our hearts to him (the Holy Spirit), He will continue to lead us in love for Him and other brethren! But be aware of false teachers in these evil days…



 

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Narrow Mind or Way?

Published on Jan 29, 2019

Romans 2: 1 (KJV)
1 Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things…


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Be Careful What You Say!

Published on Jan 26, 2019

A Haughty Spirit comes before a fall, and Pride before destruction. So be careful not to get too cocky, and then speak to quickly…


“It seems to me, that some people just don’t want to understand this”…


 

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Users Remorse

I don’t intend to be mean-spirited in pointing out errors I have found in another’s teaching, yet rather in becoming a victim myself to some near heretical ramblings, I offer the following insights…

I once spent six years in street ministry learning Bible from a man holding three doctorates which he spent 22 years in seminary to achieve. Yet more importantly, he could move in the things of God, and not just teach about them. He was a doer of the word, not just a hearer – or what we used to call on ship, a repeater. I even have had experience in some dealing with demons, as Dr. Gross was one of two top exorcist in Baltimore City.

To a large degree, I too have moved in the power of the Lord, and if I didn’t scare people by sharing these events in my life, then they were more like stolen treasures to me: as I had willingly attempted to build up others in encouragement of the Lord, within the leadership with the things I had experienced. Little did I realize, but most were ravaging wolves and pigs who perhaps unwittingly just wanted to make a name for themselves.

Have you ever heard it said that the first witness is of God, and the others Satan? I never understood this till recently, as I had never met a man who speaks so fervently about the Lord, in being with him, following him, and moving in his power. Yet he often speaks as if, no others are capable of doing it, and the past churches he often speaks about are certainly not moving within the power of the Lord (any longer). He speaks continually about all types of churches who once had something of the Lord, yet no longer do… He says this is deadly serious stuff, and warns of the broad roader’s destruction should they not heal to the Lord continually.

Allot of people are attracted to such a showman, especially in having a large amount of understanding of the scriptures, (including myself). Yet I learned later, that the man cannot move within the things of God, which he often preaches about to others!

I can tell you, which for the most part, his preaching he is correct; as I too once moved in the power of the Lord, and I must say I experienced rejection by most churches, probably starting in the mid 90’s. Yet the reason for not moving now, is because I believe the Lord has chosen this time to remain silent!

No matter how fervently one follows the Lord, it is not possible to move him to power within your life, unless he chooses to move (in the manner – in which you might wish). I learned this years ago as, when he did move in power within my life, it was often a surprise to me – as I’m simply a jar made of clay like any other.

If the Lord has decided to shelve me for some later use, that is up to him. As “I wasn’t there when he made the heavens and the earth”, but I rather am most grateful when he does decide to use me in some task. What I find most irritating is one who chooses to speak for God, when they have not the authority nor commissioning!  It seems to me the brethren of today are experiencing the great falling away, and all the attacks on other brethren (Churches) will not, and does not change the place and time we are in within world history. All the fervent preaching in the world won’t change this fact of the history we are all witnessing. As an example, I have been watching television for years, and I never could understand why Hollywood, and others found acceptable the stars and behavior exhibited and promoted in programming. This is primarily because a believer has a nature change, yet the world does not, and to them we seem antiquated and rigid.

Yet nowadays it is now most evident, that decency and righteousness have become an item of the past: it is as if the staging has collapsed, with special interest groups, and debauchery being sold all over the world to people, in any color, taste or form.

Also, most churches are dead now, and even the PCA is under tremendous LGBT attacks, by people who wish to be identified as followers of Christ: (yet cannot be, as the fruit is wrong within them) – in accordance with the scriptures. Yet false brethren continually push the envelope in defiance of God.

Sin is the issue, and I am convinced this is the age of strong delusions, which the Bible prophesied about. I cannot fault a man’s zeal for the Lord, but I must condemn the condemnation of other real brethren, whom he feels have become unworthy of their calling, and have taken the broad road, which leads to spiritual death. The man then may cut off all forms of communication with you as he fancies, (as he has done it before) but unless you have sinned against God, and the brethren, he has no justification in accordance with the scriptures, and needs much more than a couple sycophants to collaborate his viewpoint in condemning another (which is the wrong type of judging).

Allot of people can pump up other believers to be fervent in the faith, and even zealous to gain “more power” in the Lord, but this will not happen unless the Lord himself decides to empowers you! It seems to me, when I had run short of stories of the Lord empowering me, to the man, then I was accused of “not being in the right place any longer with God”, and even “chastened of God” when I got sick. But I’m quite sure that if I had, had “another” miraculous near death experience of the Lord, I would have stifled this type of spiritual judgmentalism; which is deeply destructive to an actual child of God. And all for the sake of aggrandizing  oneself in the eyes of others, and feeding your own sense of grandeur about yourself: assuredly because of the same type of rejection which you have suffered from others and so feel justified in doing the same thing, I suspect. This is horrid to me, anyone who loves the truth of God so much, yet will then castigate others upon being challenged; especially when he falls short of his own expectations’ of what he expects from others (Romans 2: 1-4) !

I think a combination of hurt, rejection and wounded pride are to blame for such an idiosyncratic viewpoint of people, in whom  may now consider you an opponent or challenger to their “Narrow Road” legalism, which has unwittingly been used in justifying oneself before the Lord, while condemning others. This poor fellow even speaks about a condemnation upgrade from hades to hell for the wicked, in given that the more scripture they know (truth), (yet they do not do), leads to deeper punishment prior to the great throne judgment. This could be very possible, but I would hate to have a head full of scripture (truths), yet preach it as a heretic to others, only to later suffer  the very condemnation which you have preached about, God forbid!

All actual brethren and Elders, need much prayer and compassion in this time of great trail; but instead, the love of many has grown cold, and many believers are tossed upon the ash heap unjustifiably. This is precisely why two or three elders are needed prior to condemning another believer in the church, as it is too easy to misjudge another – even if you claim to be nearly infallible in your walk with the Lord!


 

 

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Well Spoken …

Published on Jan 14, 2019

Are you well spoken? Than you have a greater responsibility in watching what you say to others in your gifting from God.


 

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Undefiled Religion And, Denying The True Faith.

Published on Jan 11, 2019

1 Timothy 5: 7-8 (KJV) 7 And these things command, that they may be blameless. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.


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God’s Police Force

Lightship for Christ

Published on Jan 9, 2019

Being castigated from a fellowship by people who think they are superior in their walk with the Lord to you is nothing new. The more critical they are about others, normally sets in motion you walking on thin ice! It is just a matter of time till you are imprisoned by their viewpoints. There is no difference in church people, or people of the world in being critical of others, except that it causes deeper wounds.


 

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It’s Not My Job …

Published on Jan 6, 2019

Right or Wrong, It’s Not My Job – to make the final call of the things hidden within the heart.


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Rejected of Men

My Testimonial in PDF: Rejected of Men


Page 1.


I have been walking with the Lord for over 40 years, my Mom was a Bible teacher, my Dad a Deacon.

That in and of itself means little, however I was well-informed about the pitfalls of false teachings, and relativism having crept into the faith by the 1970’s. In the 1980’s on the streets of Honolulu, my spirit within me could sense the presence of the false gospel of scientology being put forth in recruiting troubled souls to their following. A couple of sailors I knew were sucked into this cult by the threatening prognosis that they were suicidal. This is of course manipulative, and dependent on self-preservation and fear.

In the 1980’s after my time in the Coast Guard, I studied for six years under a minister holding a D.D., Th.D., and Ph.D. In phycology. More important however is that the man actually walked with Jesus Christ in faith, and had overcome many obstacles in his life with miraculous results! I experienced much spiritual opposition early on in my life, but later while in street ministry Dr. Gross, the top exorcist in Baltimore City explained much of what had occurred to me. Learning the spirituals things of God, how he operated in his disciples, and demonic oppositions to the pure truth of God was commonplace! At that time, I was worried about my career like many young men; but the Lord showed me a devotional which read: “We are to be “Vessels of Light for Christ”… Frustrated I said, “I know that” and went to bed. Yet the next morning I received a phone call from the Captain of the Lightship Chesapeake, in offering a position to work for him! And this was truly a “Vessel of Light”!

I left the ministry later and the Lightship, and become an Army Reserve “Marine Machinery Technician”. During all this time, I had never realized just how “Rock Solid” my relationship with Jesus Christ had become. I became very lonely in my walk, and having visited many churches by now, it only seemed to compound my loneliness as I had become used to a very personal relationship with other believer’s, with a depth of understanding which still surpasses most seminary trained ministers.

It wasn’t until my late 30’s that the Lord had provided me with a wife, amongst all the fornication concerning others in the world at this time. Despite all my training, I had failed to realize that “sex was marriage” in the eyes of God, so he needed to teach me just how corrupt our “free love” society had become. I had even experienced demonic battles with the enemy, the likes I hadn’t experienced since working in street ministry!

I now lived in a rural area, and it was far and in-between finding an actual soldier in the Lord who knew how to fight such opposition of the devil. And I was about to experience the closest walk with the Lord which I had ever known! I kept a type of personal log book at that time, in an effort to keep myself on the “straight and narrow” path with the Lord as to not become emotionally overwhelmed. I had not had many girlfriends, and the ones which I had, I found to be tricky and manipulative! This was all written down in an effort to cover my hind parts, should things become tricky.

Yet as things progressed, my entries became the greatest testimonial of the Lord at work in my life which I had ever experienced! Every few days I had experienced miraculous events done with perfect timing which only the Lord could have orchestrated! These events were so personal and exacting that it actually scared me in how supernaturally all things were working for good in my life, along with the women I would be married to. I can remember the Lord actually asking me if I wanted this women which he had provided me. In all humility, I was stunned by the question, and answered with a resounding yes!


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We were married in 1998 after about a year of dating, yet the events which transpired during that time were choked full of God orchestrated events which would cement our relationship for a lifetime! We had been led to join the Presbyterian Church of America, while meeting in a school building for a couple of years, and were the first married within the new congregation. The Lord was still moving in my life in miraculous ways personally, but when I shared many events with the Pastor he was a bit skeptical of the calling which the Lord had been showing me, while walking in the spirit of truth. About a year later, the Lord reinforced his leading with a spiritual vision of a “technicolor” heart full of rich green grass beating within me! The next morning on a Truth for Life broadcast, Pastor Alistair Begg explained that the word Pastor, was derived from the word Pasture, and that it was only God who gives a man a “Pastor’s Heart”… So now the vision the night before made sense to my mind.

By 2001, Elaine and I had sold our homes and moved to Stevensville, which was a much closer commute to my job. Then came the 9-11 attacks on our country, and my Reserve unit was the first to be called up in Baltimore, to be sent in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, and Iraqi Freedom. It was particular hard on Elaine and I because although Elaine was close to retirement, and had been mobilized before, she was now wanted again for a second mobilization making it that much harder on both of our families, and our home. Elaine was an outstanding soldier and administrator, and it seemed as if others were being retired early who had less time in grade.

This only goes to prove to me, that it is the strength of character and performance which is most cherished by the Armed Forces in a time of need. Just filling the ranks with substandard type people will never replace the need for good soldiers!

Yet again, the Lord blessed us with Elaine’s retirement at that time, despite the resistance of her command; but they knew she had well-earned her retirement and finally granted it, perhaps out of our hardship. Amongst my other duties, we orchestrated the family support role in my unit. The soldiers were thrilled that by Christmas the world hadn’t forgotten them! Although we only had some cards, cold cuts and some covered dishes, it made a world of difference to soldiers, many who were away from home for the first time.

My time in the service was nearly over once I returned home from Ft. Bragg, even though I had no idea of the next trail that was to be given to us.

Although I could have gotten out of my mobilization because of administrative error with the Stevedore outfit I had joined, I made the Army cut me new orders under Operation Enduring Freedom in hopes of making rank while on active duty. This did not happen, so I decided to go back into the unit which I worked for as a technician.

No later than the second day which I had transferred back into my old unit, I was undertaking our annual water survival training at Ft. Meade, MD. It was about noon that I took off my tight-fitting floatation suite, and I felt weak, and if I had severe heartburn. I was smart enough to mention it to the Commander, and they immediately had me lay down poolside.

An Ocean Going Tug commander, CWO 4 Gunport (another brother in the Lord) had called in the Ft. Meade Paramedics and the NSA Police.


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It seemed that no sooner had I laid down then the black uniformed police were taking my information, and the Paramedics had arrived just in time to set up their defibrillator, while I was going into cardiac arrest! Everything went black, and yet I felt Jesus pressing shoulder to shoulder against me, and could see him in a ghostly figure lying next to me in a robe, beard and shoulder length hair!

I regained consciousness, and was transported to the hospital. I remember we got stuck in traffic from the hospital I had requested, and had to change the route to Laurel Hospital, so That I could be airlifted to Washington Hospital (Cardiac Center) which saved my life. On the way, I can remember wanting to see outside, and the next thing I knew I was looking down upon my ambulance in spirit! The clarity of mind and vision was perfect, as if I could know anything I wanted to know, yet I pleaded with the Lord to spare my life for my wife’s sake, and so I could complete my mission on earth!

I was not expected to survive the night, being that my heart had stopped about a half-dozen times, and I was told they had to forcefully remove Elaine from my Intensive Care room, as she attempted to hide behind the door.

In a couple of days I woke up, seeing my elderly parents at my feet, my brother and wife beside me! It was good to be alive, and at which point I started sharing my experience. They were perplexed by what I had told them, and asked how I saw outside my ambulance? My mind immediately defaulted to the natural, and I said I must have seen it by looking out the back window, into a bugeye mirror along the highway.

But, that was impossible as no windows were in my ambulance, and I was looking at it from the above front! It seems the natural mind will always default back to reasoning despite the fact it has seen something of the spiritual world, hence the natural mind tends to reject things it can make no sense of.

A couple of weeks later in the hospital my emergency stent in the proximal lad again attracted a clot, they rushed me down to surgery again which terrified Elaine, and had me thinking I had reached the end of the line. I insisted the nurse tell my wife that she was the best thing which ever happened to me! But the nurse spoke softly and said not to worry, I would be OK. Yet I still insisted until the nurse spoke back to me a private prayer from weeks before; she said, “Mr. Dell, the enemy knows who you are, but this will not stop what God has planned for you”! I was completely stunned by this, as I had prayed to be effective for the Lord like the Apostle Paul and Silas in the Bible, and not just a pew warmer in church, as these men were known by Satan by their effectiveness by the enemy.

Satan knew who Jesus, Paul, and Silas were; yet with most believers’ Satan had no idea about them, as they were of no, or little effect in the spirit world in opposing him. This was the prayer the nurse had unknowingly answered for me, while speaking in the Holy Spirit of the Lord! Allot of my spiritual concerns about myself were answered during this great time of trail in my life, along with a greater insight of my importance to the Lord; (although I never have understood why) but what I do understand is, none of it has to do with my natural abilities whatsoever!


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By now our Church had been constructed, and people I had never seen before started flocking in. It almost seems to me that the bigger the Church got, the more men started to focus on building something for Jesus, rather than just listening to him in obedience.

When I finally returned to my home church, a fellow deacon and veteran I knew approached me in the parking lot with amazement, it seems the congregation was told I was in critical condition and not expected to survive the night. So this brother was stunned and relieved to see me! The Sermon that Sunday was about the Good Shepherd lying down with the lamb; as the Pastor spoke these words, I had a flashback to “the being” lying next to me in death, it was indeed Jesus the “Good Shepherd” confirmed to me by an anointing by the Holy Spirit, like a bucket of water being poured over me!

I started realizing that our church functioned much more like as business than a fellowship, personal testimonials (especially powerful ones) were not to be shared with the congregation, as it seemed this might take away from the leadership, or even elevate those whom they did not want elevated in status! This type of social behavior reminded me more of High School than it did of a fellowship of believers, and I started to become angry in how certain peoples were marginalized while only the most popular were promoted, despite outstanding performance and service. The bringing in of moneys was often focused upon in the building funds, and although I donated a substantial amount, it never seemed to be enough for all the plans being orchestrated from the top down. Even the Elders course became more regimented upon chapter and verse, than the one I had far surpassed in experience, towards helping others walk in the Lord. It almost seemed to me that Satan was continually sticking his fingers in my eyes.

I remember finally sharing my “Pastoral Vision” about the heart of grass I had seen within me a year after our marriage with the founding Pastor, directly afterwards our leadership classes. When he opened his mouth in response to me, the Holy Spirit came upon me like a great waterfall, in which I could not hear a word that he was saying, and I had to lock my knees to keep from falling over I remember! It appears the Lord did not want me to receive his response to me, probably because it would have helped to destroy my faith in my Lord. I was never allowed to share my near death experience with the congregation, and this really angered me, although my “Shoulder to Shoulder with Christ” (which I shared with the Pastor afterwards) appeared as a tagline in the church newsletter.

I then stopped my attendance, and worked towards getting accredited on the things which I had learned, predominantly from Dr. Gross, in the 1980’s. I finally got accredited in counseling by a Baptist seminary on December 6, 2006, because of my experience while working in street ministry, and studies under Dr. Gross for 6 years. Although I am a poor book academic, I also went on to write a thesis for ordination into a conservative Episcopal Church in America, yet the U.S. Bishop would not accept the terms of falling in with Roman Catholicism. I had even been offered a place with the Orthodox by a Bishop I knew, but then the Lord appeared again to me, opposite my computer room. I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, and “dimly” see Christ’s presence in the room, but this time he was in color, instead of the ghostly white image I had seen in death. I had found Dr. Gross’s phone number in a local directory after 20 years, so I gave him a call explaining what had happened to me. He said: “don’t you see Roland, it is Jesus telling you to simply follow him”!


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A little later I would start Skyping with Justin Hughes in England (AKA – Lucas Labrador on YouTube), and I would grow to understand the difference in the Spirit of an antichrist (the established Church) spoken about in Revelations 17-18 and quickly start growing in my understanding of the false church and real brethren. The difference was that of an Arminian Minister, who believes in election, in contrast with a Calvinist Minister who believes a Saint is “locked into Christ” after conversion. I was so thrilled to find another spirit filled brother I had prayed for, yet sadly seven years later I would be nearly devastated by him, while getting sick with an infection to my heart’s hardware, which I had gotten in the Military hospital over a decade before.

I was then told that I was being “Chastened of God” for loving America (the world) more than the Lord!

I think this is because I am a lover of history, and the western values which were so cherished in this nation’s past. I was disgusted by the Platform of Romans Chapter 1, which now seemed to be promoted by Barack Obama, and the Democratic Party. When President Trump got elected a wedge would start to form between me and another young brother in Ireland, who had nothing but contempt for Donald Trump, and saw him as a plant by the Catholic Church and Illuminati within the United States. I had attempted to correct this brother’s misunderstanding of history and conspiracy theories by sharing accredited links, and speaking with him: but immediately after the U.S. Elections he promptly cut off all forms of communication with me. I had pleaded with the teaching Elder to intervene, but he would not.

I have since discovered that these two men actually pride themselves in being cut off from others whom they find distasteful, and simply mark them and avoid them as broad roaders from the Lord, and false brethren. In one of my greatest trials for my life, I then was discarded as being “chastened of God” for turning back in my “love for the world”, politically speaking.

I now realize that I had never before been a member of such an exclusive and judgmental group, who could simply justify themselves in discarding others and all in the name of Christ, and who had become distasteful to their spiritual proclivities!

That was simply breathtaking to me after 7 years of daily fellowship, and this speaks volumes about the potential self-delusions possible in people, despite how well read one is within the scriptures!

Now at 60 years of age, and escaping death many times, I need to rethink my being critical of others, especially those brethren who seek to work out their salvation with fear and trembling, while seeking a peace in the world that is only found in Christ! I really wish I could write for people all the miraculous events which have transpired in my life, but my testimonial would then be a book, and I’m sure I could not remember everything pertinent to put into words, so I have rather stayed with the basics.

Testimonial of Roland Thomas Dell,

Lightship Ministries – all rights reserved. (PDF)

 



 

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Filed under A wicked world, Age of Delusion, Babylon, Bible, Christian informed values., Disciples of Jesus Christ., False Brethren & ant-Christ's, latter days, Lost - Found & the Wicket, Near Death, New Roman Empire - antiChrist, Pride, Reconciliation, Sanctification, SATAN, Spiritual - not natural understanding

The Exclusive Club


I have been a member of many exclusive clubs in my life, and the most exclusive was the most religious of them. All these religious’ clubs are exclusive and if you are given the cold shoulder, it may take some time before you experience the acceptance which you first enjoyed when you joined!

The most exclusive of the exclusive clubs, are the ones who are aimed at the core of wear we live, our hearts! We all love to think how exclusive we are to another, and our personal walk with Jesus Christ. When aggrandized by the leadership of our exclusive club to other members, this will elevate us to cloud nine, and only the most exclusive member and founder of the club; who’s holding  cloud number “ten” is only capable of keeping us there.

In this exclusive club, I was once described as the most “born again man” the leader had ever met!

God forbid that day when we are kicked off our cloud nine, and cast down to the gutter with the rest of the trash in the world, and found licking the wounds of our beat up and rejected soul! If that’s not bad enough, we have now been told that not only have we been rejected from our most exclusive club, but that the Lord God has rejected us also, and never to be able to return!

This is an example of a type of Lordship Salvation club, and even if you are one of its founding members’; you are still subject to the rejection of the men who see themselves as spiritually superior to someone else!

The most tragic thing about this type of self-delusion, is that in all the humility which is humanly possible, they will insist they are not carnally motivated in the least, but spiritual. They may heap false guilt on one another, yet will never see the spiritual depravity of their own lives!

The late Oswald Chambers consistently warned about these types of very proper, well learned and spoken types of believer’s, who are always at the ready to cast down another; based on their beliefs held in sanctimonious pride, in how close “they walk” with Christ!

This is the most, exclusive of the exclusive, and slipping from grace to over the cliff is but a few steps away, when projections of false guilt could be hurled at any moment, especially when a believer may be experiencing a personal trial of life!

Beware, it is a long fall from cloud nine to the gutter, even when we do have Jesus beside us!  Forgiveness is the key to healing from such a fall, in realizing we are all fallible, or may even be guilty of having such an inflated view of ourselves in walking with the Lord.

Let me assure you that no one has ever obtained to the level of purified gold, or silver which Jesus (God incarnate) became for us in the atonement for sin. And even the greatest of the Apostles saw themselves as unworthy vessels, who continually strived to be more like Christ.

What a despicable human being it is who thinks themselves as above reproach, and yet will stand in condemnation to another – although they claim they do not!



 

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Filed under A wicked world, Age of Delusion, Bible, Disciples of Jesus Christ., False Brethren & ant-Christ's, Judgment day, Lost - Found & the Wicket, Pride, Reconciliation, Sanctification, Satanic, Spiritual - not natural understanding